Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Its a sad sad day...

I better put a disclaimer on this one, if you are easily offended by parts of the female anatomy... STOP. Go back, use that arrow by the address bar, go to the next blog, for godsake what ARE you doing? Don't read on, don't post comments, go, go, GO!

Today is a sad day. Today is the day I had my epiphany. A realisation if you will.

I have lost my boobs.

Not lost as in 'can't find them in my handbag' (yes my handbag does need clearing out). No lost as in they've shrunk. Never again (well maybe when/if I get pregnant with child number 2) shall they be magnificent orbs of glory. Ok so maybe that's a wee exaggeration, but they were magnificent!



I was always a 'chesty' girl with perky melons which defied gravity, passed the pencil test with ease and could spin a CD. Weight came and went from my small frame (5'2 Mum, 5'2 not 4'0) but never did my ta tas diminish.

Then came my pregnancy and 'oh my word' did they grow. Up 2 cups they went. Resplendent they were. And. Again. I was worried they wouldn't stop and I'd literally push Jordan off the face of the earth. But they did. Full of milky goodness for the wee one and tauntingly glorious for the other half who could not come near them.

Then I began to wean the wee one and the beauty upon my chest began to fade, ever so slowly. Starting with the left, for Abbey decided she was a right-sided girl only. My twins were now lop-sided, or fraternal if you like.

So I stopped one night having been bitten 3 times on the breast and not in a good way. Smallfry was weaned, hurrah! My bouncing fun-bags would be restored to all their rightful glory.

Or so I thought. I now have these;



'Scuse me as I go wipe my tears and throw my bras in the trash ...

8 comments:

Brenda said...

I feel your pain sistah. Hugs to yah! Bah ha ha!

Veronica said...

Mine are larger than they ever were before. Unfortunately, gravity has taken a huge toll on them. I fear they'll never be perky again.

Aussie-waffler said...

I used to quietly smirk at my mum's "bee stings" back when I had healthy C cups. Two children later and guess who's having the last laugh (hint - it's not me !)

Ness said...

So glad I'm not alone! There isn't enough for gravity to affect them! I too used to smirk at my Mothers 'oranges in sox' I now do not even have oranges, or sox.

Sparkly Tiara said...

Yeah, mine fell by the wayside too. Sadly they were woefully inadequate to begin with. RIP boobs

Ness said...

I have been reliably informed that they will get smaller after child no.2 so I shall now have inverse craters to look forward to as well. So well put Ms Tiara... RIP Boobs

Unknown said...

I was always flat chested so when I finished nursing I had little saggy boobs. Urgh.
So I bought some new ones! D cups and now that I'm breastfeeding again they're DDs - woo hoo! Life's too short to worry about your boobs!

Ness said...

Oh Alex thats brilliant! Unfortunately my sisters wedding in the Cook Islands takes priority of our savings! Maybe in 2011...