Mothers Guilt

There is a news article doing the rounds of some bloke (yes thats right a man) who thinks that woman should have drug free births. Great another thing to add to the list of Mothers Guilt. So I thought I would share with you just some of the things on my list...
1. Pregnancy. I HATED being pregnant. That's right HATED. And the worst part of my guilt is that I had a trouble free pregnancy. I felt mildly nauseous for a few weeks and had the obligatory pains when ribs shifted or when SuMo (as Abbey was known) stuck her bub up into my sternum but other than that it was trouble free. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED the fact that I was pregnant. I loved rubbing my belly several times a day, and my heart skipped a beat at every Doctors visit and swelled with love when I heard her heartbeat or when she kicked me. Even those incredibly annoying hiccups caused me unbridled joy. I just hated being uncomfortable, not owning my body, not being able to sleep comfortably etc... So Guilt stage 1 and I wasn't 'technically' entitled to a Mothers Day gift yet.
2. Labour. I had drugs, yes all of them on offer during labour. I was induced and someone 'forgot' to turn down the drugs to kick start my contractions. So not only did I have my own contractions set in but also the drug-induced ones giving me a double whammy. Now for any medicos out there reading this, this may not be true but they did forget to turn the machine down and thats what it felt like. So I went from 'this is ok' to Linda Blair in the Exorcist. No I'm not joking, at one point my darling partner, Paul actually laughed at me, such was the contortion of face and body. I actually believed that thrashing about on the bed would ease the pain. Wrong. So I tried the gas, instant nausea, then Pethidine, instant sleep interspersed by being woken by agonising pain, all the while Paul is holding my hands telling me just to get past the top point of the pain. Supportive, yes, helpful, no. So I asked for the epidural, well begged really. I had 4or 5 (or 10) contractions while they tried to insert the needle. I don't remember the conversation with the Anaethetist but I did tell him I loved him, then quickly apologised to Paul. Then relief, Abbey arrived without fuss while I made my 'pushing face'. If you haven't experienced being numb from the waist down and told to push, close your eyes and pretend now, that face there the one you are making now.
So where was I, guilt that's right, I had a drug-filled birth and loved it, I'm planning on calling the Anaethetist to meet me at the hospital first when I go for number 2.
3. Labour again. Abbey arrived in 4 hours and 13 minutes. I'd been dilated for a week, hence the induction. Why do I feel guilty? What woman who has heard the horror stories of friends and family doesn't feel guilty when things go well and more importantly quickly. We've all heard of friends and family in labour for more than 24 hours. Enough said.
4. Post-natal. Abbey was left cold for 20 minutes. She was placed under the heater to bring up her body temp. Unfortunately they forgot to turn the heater on. Technically this wasn't my fault but do I feel guilty about it. Of course.
5. Drugs. Again. In my hurry to get the epidural, i didn't ask about the tape on my back. My hospital records showed I was allergic to plaster. Plaster, not tape. I am allergic to tape. So on the Thursday (I had Abbey on a Tuesday) I asked Paul what was on my back as it was itchy. His response 'You haven't noticed?' with an incredulous look on his face. Well no, thats why I asked. Looked in the mirror to see a lovely red raised, blistery outline of the epidural tape. Fab. Called the nurses, they called my ObGyn, on to anti-histamine. Abbey, two days old, slept through the night of course as they make you drowsy. Phenergan. If only I could use it now.
6. Eczema. Its atopic. That means its in the genes. That means I gave it to her. That means that she has a 99.99% chance of developing asthma or hay fever. Sure I could blame the maternal/paternal line but its my genes she got, a diluted version of theirs granted but they are mine.
7. Sleep. Abbey doesn't. Simple. The guilt comes as I breastfeed her to sleep. She does not know how to fall asleep on her own. I'd like to swap the breast with some Phenergan. Please.

Ok so I'm sure I could add to this but for now I'll just have 7 Guilts on my list and 507 in my head.